And money.

And stuff.

In the olden days of yore, money served one purpose: To exchange your time for goods or services. It was pretty honest, you know? “Hey, Octavius, can I buy that gold filigree toga from you?” “Sure, Romulus! I need 10 gold pieces. And here’s your toga. Great to see you, bro.”

It’s not that simple these days, really. Instead of exchanging your hard-earned money for goods and services (if you’re buying mainstream), you’re exchanging your hard-earned money for promises and dreams, labels and status, and, frankly, a really tenuous sense of trust. Deep down in your heart, you know you really don’t trust that the anti-aging cream is going to make you look like a 20-year-old again. But the commercials are so pretty and shiny. And maybe a miracle will happen, just to you. Maybe.

And that tenuous sense of trust, so very, very often is broken, as so many people expressed in the confusing olive oil situation.

You have no idea where to turn for food and products that are made and produced with integrity.  And that’s what you want to exchange your hard-earned money for. Not plastic and empty promises.

We’re fatigued by this, you know? Most people would rather just not think about it, because it really is so very hard to think about. I’m not being condescending. When you have other people to tell you what you should think and feel about their products, it’s easier just to go with it because you have other things you could be doing.

But here’s where it becomes really confusing.

If you decide to go out on your own and start making your own skincare and household products, you’re in new, uncharted territory. You’re at it alone, just you and your ingredients. It feels foreign and scary.

And sometimes things don’t work for you. Sometimes things don’t work for you. So who gets the blame then? It’s different, isn’t it? You can blame the recipe, or you can blame me the blogger or the author. But ultimately, the responsibility of your own health and happiness lies squarely on you.

(By the way, this is a much more gratifying position to be in, if you haven’t experienced it yet.)

You’ve found an idea for something online, you toil over it, and it doesn’t work for you. So who do you trust now?

Stick with me, because there’s one more point I want to make.

We’ve all been conditioned, our entire lives, to stop trusting. Through deceptive advertising, false promises, and a shadowy cultural belief that “different” means “bad.” We’ve been taught that we cannot trust each other, because hello, nightly news and “uneducated opinions.” We’re told that we cannot trust nature to heal and cure us – and that thinking it will is crazy talk.

But when you turn around and look at the track record of many pharmaceuticals, nearly all factory farmed food, and most skincare products and … well … the state of just about anything corporately produced, you know you cannot trust that, either.

It’s complete and utter chaos in your mind at this point. Until you find the still, small voice inside.

The voice that says “Trust yourself.”

Trust that you’re going to make choices that work and choices that don’t work. Trust that you’re going to buy olive oil sometimes and be hoodwinked. And trust that your ability to refine and make different choices next time will be strengthened by this.

I write all of this as a preface to this last thought:

Everything serves a purpose. The smoke and mirror of unscrupulous marketing has led us into a very dark gray area where we don’t think we can trust anyone. This is good.

Because now, and only now, can we start to trust ourselves in a way human beings haven’t been able to trust themselves in a long time, if ever. Now we get to emerge from the fog and rediscover that it’s not corporations we should trust, but authentic people. That it’s not lofty, mass-marketed promises that we should trust, but our own ability to get dirty, make mistakes, and solve our own problems. And that we can question everything, pay attention and learn as much as possible, and know – fully and deeply – that when it comes down to it, the best thing to trust is our own experience.

Not what other people tell us to think. Or feel. Or buy. Or do.

But our very own food-splattered, oil-covered, joyous experience. Our own experiential connections with other human beings who have integrity and a desire to exchange their authentic goods for our hard-earned money.

And then we share that experience, we connect, because someone else might just trust it enough to try it themselves.

And that, right there, is how we change the world.

The best homemade glass cleaner ever, which I dubbed Alvin Corn, was my shining glory in the moment. I had dreams of every person in the entire world trying this and oohing and ahhing at their newly crystal clear visage. We’re talking back when Crunchy Betty had 20 dedicated readers. I thought we could take over the world.

It didn’t exactly go like that. We had to wait a year and a half for Alvin Corn to gather up the buzz – and it has. Oh yes, it has.

Here’s what it looks like, in all its cloudy glory:

The oddly named, but wildly effective, Alvin Corn glass cleaner.

As it’s coming into its own time, I thought it would be an excellent moment to try my hand at making an instructional video on how to make this winning cleaner. I like to make videos every few months, just to remind myself that writing with my fingers is my forte, not blathering through my mouth.

Also, we will no longer call this, officially, Alvin Corn, because … seriously. Who wants to use something called Alvin Corn? It’s like a chipmunk with a foot ailment.

Can you think of a better name for this glass cleaner than Alvin Corn? Ideas in the comments, please!

In the meantime, I want to refresh your memory on the exact recipe (which I have halved for this particular video, because a full size recipe does not fit into a reused Bragg’s apple cider vinegar bottle).

And then you can laugh at me in the instructional video.

Your Winning Homemade Glass Cleaner Recipe

Before you get the recipe, here are a couple of points:

• Do try to use filtered or distilled water with this, as tap water is still a bit yucky, and it may leave more residue on your mirrors and windows.
• This should keep for at least a month, with the alcohol and vinegar acting as preservatives, but keep an eye on it for any longer than that.
• I find it works even better with an old cut up pair of jersey-type yoga pants than with paper towels, even.

Recipe time!

For Those of You Who Are Into Videos – I Present … This!

We’re reaching a new audience here – yay!

So if you have tried this and love it, I would REALLY love to see some feedback in the comments. Also? Name? What is the name of this glass cleaner?

That is not an uncommon complaint, although it’s not the rule. Occasionally, extra virgin olive oil receives raving results on the oil cleansing page. This problem is more than vexing, because we’ve all heard – for years – about how healthy extra virgin olive oil is, for your insides and your outsides.

Looks like normal old extra virgin olive oil, doesn't it? Well ... it probably isn't.

But, finally, after a year of pondering this quandary, science has come through and delivered what I think may be at least part of the answer to the extreme ranges of success that extra virgin olive oil exhibits.

Lest you think the information I’m about to share here only applies to you if you use the oil cleansing method, it does not. What I’m about to present to you should absolutely, 100% change the way you shop for olive oil … even if you’re just eating it.

Your Extra Virgin Olive Oil Probably Isn’t Very Extra Virginal, After All

Researchers at the University of California – Davis recently did us all a huge, huge favor.

They tested a plethora of imported and non-imported extra virgin olive oils to see whether or not they were actually, truly extra virgin. It turns out, most of them were not. Not even close. In fact, most of the brands found to be fraudulently labeled as extra-virgin olive oil are brands you might even have in your own kitchen. Think Bertolli. Think Colavita. Whole Foods. Star. Fillipo Berio.

(Here’s a easy, concise list of the brands tested and whether or not they were fraudulently labeled.)

If you’d have asked me three months ago if I’d ever renew my Costco membership, I’d have said “never, ever, ever, ever again, please momma no!” I just did though. Shelled out the $55 to join a club where I’m shoved and trampled just trying to pick out a parmesan cheese.

Why? Because Kirkland brand olive oil was one of the VERY few (and the only locally available EVOO) to pass the extra virgin purity test. Thank you, Costco. You’re now a hero in my eyes.

This study has shown that up to 69% of imported extra virgin olive oils are actually very fraudulently labeled. Yikes.

It wasn’t just the UC-Davis study that was alarming; there’s a new book out called Extra Virginity: The Sublime and Scandalous World of Olive Oil, in which the author, Tom Mueller, reveals that – because of lax regulations and standards in the olive oil industry – olive oil can easily be tainted, cut with other oils, deodorized, and then sold as extra virgin … without anyone being the wiser.

From this Bay Citizen article, he also mentions: “There’s a river of rotten oil going into food service — restaurants hotels, schools, hospitals,” he said. “The big companies are selling things that are not even olive oil.”

Kinda makes you wonder what you’ve been eating all this time, doesn’t it?

How Can You Tell if Your Olive Oil Is Extra Virgin or Not?

I cannot attest to the efficiency of this home test (although I’m trying it right now and will be able to attest to it soon enough), but apparently extra virgin olive oil and virgin olive oil will react differently in very cold temperatures.

So try this experiment:

• In a small bowl, pour a bit of your “extra virgin” olive oil. Cover it.
• Pop it in the refrigerator for 24-48 hours.
• When you take it out, if it has crystallized, it is extra virgin. If it has hardened into a solid lump, it is NOT extra virgin.

How Can You Find Olive Oil You Trust?

Imagine standing in a store. Before you are two people holding cartons of strawberries for sale – one, a local farmer you’ve spoken to on occasion, the other a business man who just flew in from the strawberry farm in Argentina.

Which strawberries would you likely choose to buy?

The local ones, right? It’s almost a no-brainer.

Unfortunately, olive oil just isn’t that easy. A vast majority of olive oil available to the bulk of us regular consumers is imported. We have no way of knowing the people behind the business. Unless you live in California, where olive oil pours forth like manna from the heavens and coats all its residents with healthy, glistening goodness.

The first thing I’d do is stop buying any of the brands that made the fraudulently labeled list. No more Colavita. No more Bertolli. No more Whole Foods (of all people … for shame).

Secondly, if you have access to the brands that did pass (Kirkland, Corto, California Olive Ranch, McEvoy Ranch Organic), stick with them for now.

Next, see if you can’t find a smaller seller and ask them questions. For instance Mountain Rose Herbs (who I fully trust in terms of their integrity) sells extra virgin olive oil. And we have a small store in town called the Olive Tap that sells it, as well. I plan on having a lengthy conversation with their owner soon. I bet he can’t wait!

What IS in this extra virgin olive oil?

Finally, see that EVOO up there?

It’s Carapelli, and I bought it on ridiculous sale several months ago – before knowing any of this information. There’s a little stamp on the back that says it’s made from different olive oils from four countries – Italy, Spain, Greece and Tunisia.

My guess is that if you’re taking olive oils pressed in four different countries, with four totally different suppliers, the chances of contamination, subpar quality, or unscrupulous “cutting in” of other oils is really high. I don’t know this to be fact, but given everything I’ve just learned, I’d say it’s highly likely.

Especially when you consider that Carapelli was one of the brands on the “fraudulently labeled” list.

So look for olive oils that are produced in one country only. And, again, if you can talk to the business that sells it, you can find out all the information you need to make a conscious choice.

Will This Change the Way You Buy EVOO?

You remember Rachel Ray, right? The queen of EVOO? The maker of the trend, the master of the brand? You know she sells her own brand of EVOO?

Guess what? It’s on the fraudulently labeled list.

This is NOT Yumm-o.

How are you feeling about your olive oils right about now? Will you change the way you buy it?

And – for those of you who’ve had problems with the OCM using EVOO – care to give it a shot with the “real thing?” One more time? For CRUNCHY science? Just so we can see if it makes a difference, and if we can rule out – forever and for all – whether or not it’s an appropriate oil to use on your face.

You may be looking out your window now at piles of snow, but it’s not too soon to think about getting your hands in the dirt. AKA getting cozy with some plants.

If you’re into creating crunchy goodies – whether it’s a home remedy, a facial scrub, or some a natural cleanser –there’s nothing more satisfying than stepping outside and snipping some of the ingredients off your very own plants.

No garden? No problem! You can grow an entire herbal cornucopia in little pots near your window. Those plants may not get super big, but look at it this way: you don’t have as far to walk with your shears.

What Herbs Should I Grow?

Now most people think of culinary  herbs when they think herb garden. You know – parsley, chives, basil, majoram. And these are most certainly worthy herbs to cultivate. They’re particularly awesome for that kitchen window garden.

But maybe you want to get a little more creative, and do more with your herbal harvest than season your dinner. There are literally hundreds of aromatic and healing plants to choose from. Think about the things you want to make come summer. Herbal vinegars? (Great for holiday gifts later, by the way.) Cough syrups? Salves? Tinctures? Creams and lotions? Maybe you just want to dry a bunch of herbs to make your own teas.

Your future plans for your herbal harvest will help you decide what to plant now.

So – are you getting excited about rubbing your fingers through all those aromatic leaves in a few months? Get thee to a nursery! Or, for a better selection, start browsing the mail order houses. Herbs can be tricky to grow from seed so I prefer to use root cuttings or those baby herb plants called starts.

The easiest path to a lush herbal kingdom in your backyard is to plant some starts as soon as your soil thaws out enough to dig. Some of these plants will start kicking it pretty good this summer – others might take a full year to blossom into their adult selves.

A decent nursery will carry several herbs beyond the culinary variety, and a Google search will bring you hours worth of online medicinal herb plant browsing.

One of my favorites, run by small family farmers, is Crimson Sage Nursery. 

For beauty, craft potential, medicinal action and ease of growing  – I’ve put together a list of plants for beautiful beginning to your fragrant and useful bower of herbs.

Alkanet

If you can get some alkanet growing, you are so golden. Or should I say ruby red? Alkanet root is the ingredient that tints many a natural lip balm. These roots are a natural dye, I’ve used it many times to turn my lip balm creations a deep red.

My sister made an absolutely luscious rose cream a couple of months ago and gave it to all of us for Christmas gifts. She tinted in a delicate rose petal pink using alkanet root.

Alkanet is a hardy perennial, with pretty blue flowers and it’ll grow to about a foot a half high. Of course you can’t use it for coloring until fall or when the green parts have died back and you can dig up and dry the roots. A little bit of dried, ground up root will go a long way. Just store it in a jar until you’re ready to use some more.

Calendula

This is one “herb” (or is it a flower) that is actually super easy to grow from seed.  In my neck of the woods it blooms in late winter and all through spring/summer. I classify the bright orange flowers as ‘herbs’ because of the multiple medicinal and beautification gifts they offer.

Calendula is the great skin soother. Infuse the flowers in olive oil, or another carrier oil to create a base oil for salves, ointments, lip balms and lotions. An eyewash of fresh calendula flowers soothes irritated eyes and it’s even nice when you have that dry ‘computer eye’ feeling.

The flowers are so bright and sunny, you just can’t help smiling when you see them, and they keep coming and coming.  (Although it is one of those plants that performs best when you “deadhead” them every couple of days. That means cutting or pinching off the spent flower heads so calendula can put its energy into making new flowers.)

When choosing calendula seeds or plants, be sure to get Calendula officinalis, the basic single flowered variety. There are lots of ornamental varieties and – while pretty – they don’t retain a many medicinal benefits.

Lavender

Okay, I know, I know. Lavender probably is in your Grandma’s herb garden. But it deserves a spot in yours too because it is used in so many recipes for herbal body care treats. Add lavender flowers to an herbal oil infusion with some rose petals and calendula, and you can use this as a base oil to create any number of luscious lotions, creams, bath oils and more.

And it smells good (at least most people think so.) Just sniffing lavender flowers can simultaneously calm you down and uplift your spirits. You can pick the long stemmed buds of most varieties and make sweet lavender wands – a really fun activity to enjoy with your favorite little person.

When you get to the nursery, you will likely see half a dozen different types of lavender. Honestly, they’re all fragrant and will work for making stuff. But Lavendula angustifolia (sometimes called L. officinalis or L. vera) is the ‘true’ English lavender. This variety produces upright stalks and long spiky, deep blue flowers that are perfect for those wands mentioned above.

Remember lavender is native to the Mediterranean and so it likes its soil to be well drained and light. Harvest lavender just as the flower buds are about to open, and dry them on the stalk away from direct sunlight. And no – its unlikely you can make lavender essential oil at home. But you’ve got lots of other options for using the fresh and dried flowers!

Rosemary

Like lavender, this is a Mediterranean herb that falls on the traditional side of things – but it gives you so much it deserves a spot in your garden. Rosemary – sometimes called the herb of remembrance – grows quickly, stays green and vibrant well into the cold months, and its distinctive fragrance can wake up your brain cells.

Use rosemary in hair oils and hair rinses, oily skin formulations, and natural bug repellants. And of course it’s a staple in any spice cupboard. In my family we like to strip the leaves from rosemary stems and use them as skewers for barbecuing when we make shishkabobs. The branches can be bent and used to make wreaths.

Want to know more about what you can do with rosemary? Read my post about it here.

Where I live in Northern California, rosemary thrives in the garden year round, but in harsher climates the plants need to be brought indoors during the coldest months, or at least into a green house

Like lavender, rosemary prefers Mediterranean conditions and there are dozens of different varieties – both upright and creeping. I think the tall upright plants (like the basic Rosemarinus officinalus) are better for harvesting and using. Save the creeping ones for ornamental planter boxes.

Mint

It’s another staple and a bit of a commoner – but what herb garden would be complete without some peppermint or spearmint? For the tea possibilities alone, you’ve got to include some mint plants – not to mention the potential with mojitos!

Mint tea – besides being tasty – is of course one of the most recommended remedies for stomach upset. Peppermint also helps headaches, colds, nausea, and lots of other ailments.  Spearmint is milder tasting, and maybe a bit mellower in its action, but it still delivers similar benefits as its peppy cousin.

If plain old peppermint and spearmint are a little too boring, there are zillions of more exotic cultivars you could plant in addition to your basic peppermint patch. Chocolate mint is one of my favorites (it has a tantalizing aroma that combines cocoa and mint – kind of like my favorite chocolate bars.) Other nice ones include orange mint (also called bergamot mint) and apple mint.

Beware though when planting any type of mint in your garden. These babies are kind of aggressive and when left to their own devices they will take over. Either contain the plants in a large pot, or place some sort of barrier around the area you want it to grow (like some rocks or bricks or something.) You will need to be vigilant and ruthlessly pull out the runners that try to pop up in other areas.

Yarrow

The most medicinal variety of Yarrow (Achillea millefolium) is the white flowered type – the same one you’ll find growing wild in many temperate regions. It’s an attractive plant with feathery leaves and a white “umbel” type flower that is made of lots of tiny blossoms.

Those flowers are the part that you use for medicine, and when dried they make a bitter tea that has many medicinal uses. One of the most well known uses of yarrow tea is for sweating out a fever, but it’s also an infection fighter when combined with other herbs. Don’t consume yarrow if you are pregnant as it can stimulate uterine contractions.

One of my favorite uses for yarrow is to stop bleeding. If you get a cut while out weeding the garden, just grab some yarrow leaves or flowers, crush them up and apply to the wound. It’s amazing! The bleeding stops almost instantly and you have applied a natural infection-fighting antiseptic. You can use yarrow tincture the same way.

Yellow yarrow is an ornamental version with thicker leaves and broader flowers. It is quite attractive and a nice addition to your garden.Those big yellow flowers look so good in wreaths and dried flower arrangements. It does not have the powerful medicinal qualities as its less showy relative though.

Yarrow likes full sun, but otherwise does not require a whole lot of care. It is fairly drought resistant, but like any plant will grow taller and lusher when it gets enough water.

Bee Balm or Bergamot

This is one gorgeous flower – and I’m so bummed it won’t thrive in my cool coastal garden. The most well-known bee balm (Monarda didyma) puts out hundreds of scarlet flowers all summer long. Other varieties produce variegated flower heads in colors ranging from purple to white.

It’s a little confusing that this plant is also known as “Bergamot,” because essential oil of bergamot is what they use to create the distinctive flavor of Earl Grey tea. However, that is a completely different bergamot – the essential oil is made from the rind of a citrus fruit, not this plant.

Bee balm leaves make a tasty tea – either brewed fresh or dried. It has a mild minty flavor, although the leaves will get a bit more pungent after the flowers have completed their bloom cycle. In addition to making a pleasant beverage, bee balm tea can settle an troubled tummy and relieve symptoms of a common cold.

The pretty flowers can be added to salads to give them colorful and slightly spicy twist.

All this talking about plants has me yearning to get outside into our own garden. Gotta run!

Did I miss an herb that should be in every self-respecting herb garden? Let me know!

Sarah O'Leary

About the author: Sarah O’Leary lives in the redwoods of Northern California, where she enjoys beach walks, river basking and playing in the garden. She ran an herb shop for 19 years and now blogs at Wellness The Natural Way about various paths to inner and outer wellness. Email her at sarah.h.oleary(at)wellnessthenaturalway.com

But first, any excuse I have to post adorable pictures I’ve taken of my nephews, I will. Let us see him illustrate the sneakiness of children by his disarming sideways glance:

He's thinking of a way to trick us. Believe it.

Here is the question for you guys:

Dear Crunchy Betty,

I need for you to come up with a way to deceive my kids. Yes, indeedy. So many nights during bedtime I get the “Mommy, my hand is aching” or “Mommy, my toe feels weird. I need medicine.”

And so I need you to come up with a tonic that I can give them so they’ll be happy and go to sleep thinking they’ve taken some real medicine. I’m thinking honey, obviously, because it has to be more alluring than that grape-flavored kid’s Tylenol which, even to me, smells like children’s crack. And something else, so it looks like I made a real tonic for them. Perhaps some lavender?

I’ve got an elderberry-based cold tonic that they take but don’t LOVE so that’s out which is too bad since it gives the stuff a cool purple/red color.

My kids are four and six, so they can have pretty much any EO; obviously I’d like it to be something that I don’t have to worry about overdosing them with when they’ve got “pains” three nights in a row.

I feel you, Crunchy Betty, are up to this challenge.

Please!

Sleepless in the Southwest,

Jennifer

Giving Your Kids Placebos for “It Feels Kinda Weird”

Little did Jennifer know (at least until I emailed her and told her this was happening), I actually didn’t feel up to the challenge – personally. Little did she know, the legion of Crunchy Betties WERE.

I used to give placebos (sugar water) to my sister – the mother of that adorable child up there – when she was little. It was our one special thing, because I was 7-1/2 years older than her, and it was the only way I could get her to go to bed and leave me alone to do angsty, un-good-big-sister-like teenager stuff. (We have since overcome our vast age difference, and now she’s one of my favorite people in the world, even when I don’t give her sugar water.)

So my thought process for Jennifer went like this, “Homemade Magic Fix-It Gummy Bears! HOMEMADE GUMMY BEARS! WITH JUICE!”

I rushed to the kitchen to gather ingredients to make homemade gummy candy, which I NEEDED because my toe felt weird. Then I realized I didn’t have any ingredients, which forced me to think a little bit longer about her question.

So let’s look at it just a little more deeply (without going too overboard):

• The placebo effect is a real thing, especially in cases where everything is pretend anyway.
• Kids’ imaginations (and the deep desire to avoid bedtime) are REAL things.
• Parents who pay attention know the difference between real sickness and “my toe feels weird.”

With those three points in mind, do you think there’s any harm in placating your kids with special placebos to make them feel better?

Have any of you treated these oh-my-goodness-you-poor-baby-now-get-your-butt-in-bed illnesses with placebos? Or have you found a craftier – or more direct – way to deal with these little issues?

And most importantly, do you have any crunchy ideas for a (healthier-than-sugar-water) placebo-like fix for Jennifer and all you other crunchy parents out there dealing with kids with weird feeling toes?

How would YOU help Jennifer with her dilemma?